So I know what you're thinking ... how can this post possibly top goat pestilence? Believe me, I was worried about that, too.
It's tough, but, thanks to my friend Lisa over at TVWeek, I think I've got a contender. (Not only that, it's something that's going to be included in this year's Emmy gift bag.)
They're baby shoes, and they're Heelarious. Well, that's what they call themselves, anyway. I like to think of them as "No way in Heel."
They're high heels for babies, and I'm mildly terrified. Make that just terrified. I've posted a photo, the Kayla, and I picked this one because it has zebra stripes. There's also leopard print, if your baby is more the hunter than the hunted. Oh, and solid hot pink, if your baby's more the reserved type.
Now, don't get me wrong. C has stepped into her mother's heels a time or two, and I thought it was simply adorable. Just seeing nearly all of her tiny little toes poking out of my open-toe wedges is really charming. And watching her toddle around while holding onto furniture or the wall while navigating Mommy's shoes makes me imagine what she might be like as a young woman ... until, of course, that pleasant thought is replaced with the one of her breaking her leg and me rushing her to the emergency room. (Nurse: Didn't you just bring her in yesterday for suspected goat pestilence? Me: What's your point?)
But high heels for babies, and I do mean babies (the sizes are 0-6 months), seems so wrong. There's that pesky heel, after all. It apparently squishes for "safety," and it's true that babies that young aren't usually walking as to be impeded by even a squishy heel. But as a mother of a girl, particularly one who's going to mature among the beauty-obsessed environs of Los Angeles, I get a little concerned that we might be starting too early to push our girls to be more and more like women.
And speaking as someone who didn't feel like a woman until, like, last week when I asked C who her mother was and she pointed to me, I say give 'em time. They'll be telling you that your open-toe wedges are so 2008 soon enough.