Thursday, October 11, 2012
Last Days as an Only Child
I've been meaning to write this post for a while now, but somehow I just haven't found the right words. I guess I get overly nostalgic thinking about it, and like other things, I push it off for one more day.
With the new baby on the way, there's been so much excitement and joy from all three of us. Whether it's been Ian and I thinking about baby boy clothes and vacations for four or CC telling us that his name should be Tom, Jerry...or Target, this pregnancy has been a fun ride.
But as it's approaching, I keep thinking about our little girl who has been, up until now, our one and only. For 5+ years. And because I grew up as an only child, that just seemed to be the norm. While I've been over the moon with excitement to have another one -- and a little boy at that! -- I've been a little teary-eyed at the thought of something slipping away.
Maybe that's just because it's a change. Maybe I'm just over-thinking everything. Maybe I'm just hormonal.
So for the past few weekends, I've wanted to make it all about CC and me. I've wanted these last few weeks to be extra special. And we've had fun -- going here and there, watching movies, playing My Little Pony, drawing pictures. But I've also needed lots of naps, which has meant CC playing on her own. And she's been great.
A couple of weekends ago, I asked her what she'd like to do with Mommy before the baby comes. She had to think about it.
Before she answered, I said that I wanted to do something that she wanted to do because our family was expanding from three to four, and that I'd be spending a lot of time with her little brother once he arrived.
She looked at me for a second -- thoughtful but also a bit perplexed.
"Turn that frown upside-down," she said to me and smiled.
It really took all I had not to start crying. But I didn't want her to think that I was sad. Because it wasn't sadness exactly. I guess it was just change.
But she didn't see it that way. Kids in her class are getting new brothers and sisters, and this for her is just life -- what people do. While she might be a little off-center wondering how all of this will play out, her world is still moving along at a normal 5-year-old's pace. This is what happens in families.
And it is.
When she finally got around to telling me what she wanted to do, she said, "Crafts. I want to make crafts."
So I went to Target and bought a big bag of colorful pipe cleaners, fuzzy balls, googly eyes and glue, and we went to work. We made a lion, a turtle and other silly creatures.
And what's funny -- and what I should have known all along -- is that, no matter what, we will also do it again.